The PK Files: Entry Four

4.

I found hope in this whole situation. It came in the form of re-hearing a song one of my best friends recommended to me a few months ago. It seems like God knew what I would eventually need and foreshadowed it's coming.

I re-heard the song yesterday on the local Christian Radio Station. I knew I loved the song, so I bought it on iTunes today along with several other songs; it was kind of an afterthought after all of the others. I went outside to do my math in the yard this evening, and played through all the new songs I'd bought.

This one started to pray, and I put down the pencil and pen and just listened. I felt more relaxed then I had in weeks while the song was playing. I nearly cried; that's how much I needed this song to play.

STRONGER- Mandisa

Uplifting, beautiful, inspiring.

Thanks for reading. :)

PeAcE,

M

(T-11 Days:[)

The PK Files: Entry Three

My Favorite Songs as of Late:

ADELE: Rolling in the Deep.

P!nk: Who Knew?

This is all for the PK FILES ENTRY THREE. My thoughts are too jumbled up right now to sort through. Oh, and my heart ACHES too much to put into words.

Just listen to the songs. Please? For me?

I'm going to go write now. And listen to "Rolling in the Deep" over and over again until my mom screams at me to stop. :D

Have a great weekend.

PeAcE,

M

The PK Files: Entry Two

The PK Files: Two

Hard, Hard, Hard as Heck; ruining my life. Feels like my little heart is being stabbed by a knife.

Kill, Kill, Kill me now; I don't wanna leave. I almost think it'd be more fun to have a bad disease.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat can produce so many wonderful rhymes...right?

Anyway, Two weeks ago, we went to see the house. It made me want to stay here even more than before; and that's saying something. Nothing against Lafayette or the people of the church; it's just not here. They aren't these people. It's not even close to being the same.

The church is a lot smaller than Trinity. I knew it would be; you can't keep up a building the size of Trinity without four or five hundred regular parishioners. It's a nice place, has a nice sanctuary. The thing I don't like about it is the smell. It's like this:

80 year old person rolled along the floor about six billion times. Then a cat peed on the carpeting six billion times. And then it was flooded with water about six billion times.

Yeah...not pleasant. It's also extremely junky. There are things lying on every available surface; things that don't need to be in a church. For example: The youth collect old parts of computers to sell. The stacks of them are spilled all over the too small room. Yes, it's a source of money and whatnot, but is it really practical to have junk laying all over? It's easy to navigate when everything is clean and organized.

The house is okay. The living room and family rooms are a mix of seafoam green and paneling; which, thank GOD, is coming down. We're also getting new carpeting and we get to paint whatever colors we want. But seriously; it smelled like cat in that house.

Three bathrooms, four bedrooms, porch on the front and back. There's lots of storage; which is a pro. There's a lot of good about the house. It's just not here.

I wish we could take the people with us. My friends, the staff, everyone. It would make life so much easier on everyone. Especially me; to have some familiar faces around.

Oh well. Life goes on.

Hope for the best, guys. You know I am.

PeAcE,

M

The PK Files: Entry One

The PK Files: One

So....I thought about writing a story about this on Goodreads. My life as a teenage pastor's kid. But, instead, I thought it would be more fun to keep you updated on my blog. So, without further ado: The PK Files.

We're moving. We're moving. We're moving. We're moving. We're moving.

Those are the thoughts that have echoed around my mind for the past few weeks. I've been sleeping less, agonizing over the fact that I'm leaving so many people I love behind. The house I've lived seven years in won't be coming with us. Our neighborhood, the high school, my friends. None of it is coming. Just my family, pets, and furniture are coming with us.

I started doing an "unofficial" countdown. I look at things in my daily, weekly, even monthly life and thing, "In less than five months, those things won't be a part of what I do." It's painful to think that far ahead. To think about leaving what I consider my home.

My mom (the pastor) thinks that "God is in this". She told everybody at church last weekend that she thought it was a "God thing". I just rolled my eyes. She's ruining my life, I thought.

What made las weekend the hardest would have to be the facade I wore. I put on a brave face for everyone; so they wouldn't think I was a weakling ready to burst into tears at any moment. I came close a few times, but just pretended like it wasn't happening. Even though it was.

It's funny how much pretending goes on with these type of things. We aren't allowed to tell anyone for a few weeks after the confirmation of the move is made. (It feels that way.) I've gone places and talked to people in the past month without getting them suspicious. We act. We fake. But God doesn't want us to do it. Then why are people who work in his church telling us to?

They say I can't act, I can't lie. But just think about it. I've been hiding this for a month now. Thirty. Whole. Days. If that's not acting, if that's not lying, then what in the heck is?

PeAcE,

M