Sidewalk Chalk

Sidewalk Chalk

I was feeling down today. (Only two weeks until we move.) It was a nice evening; the storms had passed. I went outside and kind of walked around for a bit before I discovered the sidewalk chalk that we had in our garage.

I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I just kind of thought. I thought about what was making me sad; thought about what was upsetting me. Then I decided to "draw" the exact opposite of what I was feeling. This is what I came up with:

Inspiration is just what this world needs. People need to start believing in themselves and seeing themselves for what they truly are.

I know no one will see it; people don't come back into my neighborhood often, and the rain will wash it away eventually. But everything comes to an end.

I learned something today. I learned that looking at happy things, making inspirational things, or watching inspirational things really do make a person feel better about anything. All it takes is a little imagination and belief.

Sm:)e more often, okay? Life ain't all thunderstorms.

PeAcE,

M

Lucy

"Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of Heaven looking back at me

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today."

Just from listening to this song, I feel like I experienced it.

Many question flew around after people first heard Lucy. At first, all lead singer John Cooper would say was: "A gist of regret where you wish you had done things differently," and, "Even though there's a specific story, it has a lot of interpretations that have kind of mean a lot to a lot of people already."

Finally, he decided to let the world in on the story.

It is based on a true story. And that story is this: it's about a young couple who find out that they're pregnant. They are in high school, they are not married, and they are absolutely scared to death of the implications — what happens when people find out, and then how to take care of this baby. They don't know what to do. Very frightened. And basically the only option that they think that they have just to get rid of this problem was to terminate the pregnancy. And so they did that. They had the procedure done. And, of course, being young and naive, they thought that all their problems were over, everything was going to be better now, nobody had to find out.

But then over the next few months, something happened to them that happens to a lot of people, which is the fact that they began to feel this immense pain and guilt and sorrow and loneliness over what had happened with the baby. Couldn't get over it. So they finally decided to go see a counsellor. And this counsellor basically suggested for them to stop thinking of it like a medical procedure, and to begin to think of this like a death in the family in order to get over it.

And so this couple goes home, and they decide to do three things. Number one, they decide to hold a small funeral service for the child. Number two, they bought a little headstone as a reminder. It said, "In memory of" — you know, the baby and whatnot. And number three, they decided to name the baby in order to get some closure. And they decided to call her Lucy.

So it's a sad song, but it's also about second chances. It's about talking about an issue that is effecting literally thousands of people all across the world. More of these stories are coming out of people saying, "Had I know that grief that would ensue after having this procedure done, I might have thought twice about it." And so it's meant to bring hope to people. Meant to bring a peace to people. And basically the love of God. All these things are hard, and they effect you, and they're real, but there's a God who loves you and is there for you."

It kind of sounds like it could be the death of a pre-mature infant, too. I've had that happen in my family, which may be why it means so much to me.

Go listen to it, for me. Please. It may have a raw, rock edge to it, but it's beautiful all the same. The lyrics are really what makes it different. I want to cry.

Since I can't possibly figure out how to put a Youtube video up here, click on the bolded Lucy below and it'll take you to Youtube where you can listen to the song.

LUCY- Skillet

I really can't put this song into words, it's so true. How much is hurts, how much grief can tear us all apart. Abortion is wrong, but sometimes it's the only choice. You look back and regret the awful thing you've done, but you have to accept it like a death and move on. But don't forget. Because that would be terrible.

"Here we are, now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are for a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life in Heaven
Where we never say goodbye."

PeAcE,

M

God gave me the Rain

Society really has screwed us all up, has it not? People who once thought they were beautiful are being shot down by girls in size zero pants. The brunettes are being ditched in favor of the blondes, and girls with flaws are being traded in for the seemingly flawless girls.

All over the country, the world, teenagers are cutting, starving, and killing themselves all because of two things:

1. Lack of love.

2. Lack of "perfection".

Today, I wasn't feeling good about myself at all. Even though it was my day, (rainy, gray, and dark) I couldn't smile. I felt tired, no good, ugly, depressed. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and pass out for three months.

Instead, I haphazardly packed some boxes in my room -which I was supposed to clean- and ended up making a BIGGER mess. (If that's possible...) I quit at about two, and sat around doing random nothingness until four.

It wasn't raining hard when I went outside. In fact, it was only sprinkling. After wandering aimlessly about my dry garage, I took off my sweatshirt and shoes and stepped out into the rain. I walked in the gutter leading to the drains and danced around in the puddles.

Eventually, it started raining harder. I went and stood under a tree in my front yard and then shook it's branches so that the leaves dumped their water on my head. My first thought was Holy Mother of BARNEY that is COLD. But I continued to do it.

I ran through my yard and splashed whatever water I could find over my head. By the time I went inside, I had soaked clothes, wet hair covered in leaves, petals and a stick, and a nearly make-up less face.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a good five minutes, looking at myself. My hair was hanging down to my shoulders, waterlogged. I had mascara stains on the top of my cheeks and my eyeliner was completely smudged off. My eyeshadow was goopy and dripping down the corner of my eye.

Surprisingly, I felt beautiful. Even at my worst, I felt the prettiest I had in a long time.

God gave me the rain to teach me this lesson:

We don't have to give into society. We should be ourselves to the core, no matter what's "in" or what's "out". IT DOESN'T MATTER. We are absolutely and 100% beautiful people, and we need to let it show.

Don't doubt yourself anymore. Your talents, your fears, your looks, your insecurities, your likes and interests, your dislikes. None of that.

This world is only graced with one you. One absolutely beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, you. Don't throw it away. You make the difference. You save people's lives. You change the world.

No matter what STUPID society says, you're FREAKING PERFECT to me.

Don't forget that.

PeAcE,

M

The PK Files: Entry Three

My Favorite Songs as of Late:

ADELE: Rolling in the Deep.

P!nk: Who Knew?

This is all for the PK FILES ENTRY THREE. My thoughts are too jumbled up right now to sort through. Oh, and my heart ACHES too much to put into words.

Just listen to the songs. Please? For me?

I'm going to go write now. And listen to "Rolling in the Deep" over and over again until my mom screams at me to stop. :D

Have a great weekend.

PeAcE,

M